Dreaming of heaven
Last night I dreamed I went to heaven. As I got to the gate I saw an angel checking a list and I ran up to him with joy. ‘All my life I’ve looked forward to this glorious moment,’ I said.
‘You’re very welcome,’ said the angel. ‘I need to tell you, though, that we’ve changed the way we do things round here. The new rule is this. We pair people up. If you’ve been good all your life you get to spend eternity going around heaven with a delightful, beautiful person. If you’ve been bad, you will go around heaven eternally with a quarrelsome, mean and horrible person.’
As I was trying to come to terms with the new circumstances, I suddenly caught sight of the vicar. He was walking along with an absolutely stunning and gorgeous woman.
‘I’m amazed,’ I said to the angel. ‘I always knew he was a good man, but I hadn’t realised how utterly saintly he must have been all his life.’
‘Oh no, you’ve got it all wrong,’ said the angel. ‘He’s the punishment for that wicked girl.’
Submitted by Bernhard Schunemann
10 August 2025
